Deep pews

Here are some excerpts from a letter I wrote to a courageous parish priest who had taken an unpopular stand against Qanon golden calf worship in his congregation: 

Dear Father ___, 

I know you are receiving hundreds of emails but i had to write and thank you for the consolation I experienced upon finding out that there were clergy such a yourself with the integrity to speak out against fascism...

[ I had been a Catholic for many years] but culture warriorism, right wing ideology, and lack of charity in general drove me out and I've never made it back since...

The Deacon I was consulting with was a trump supporter. I cannot for the life of me understand how people claiming to love Jesus Christ could commit idolatry of such a repugnant, disgusting, and vainglorious narcissist.  After arguing with this Deacon pointlessly for a period of time, I realized I was just acting out my childhood drama of trying to get my alcoholic parents to admit to the harm they'd done to me and my siblings.  The people most prone to being used by dark forces are those in denial of their own sin, (Pharisees).  To me the actual abuse was not nearly as bad as the DENIAL of it that I lived with all my life.  So I was seeking an authority figure with the grace to acknowledge truth. 

I believe extremism is very much like alcoholism, which is why right wing ideology triggers me so very much. And I believe it acts as a drug.  I told this Deacon:  "what good did all those years of being in the Sacraments/receiving grace do for you if you lack the discernment to tell who is a good man and who is a liar and a con?!"  This sums up the reason I left the Church-- I could no longer see Christ there...

I don't know if I'll ever be able to return to the Catholic Church.  I can only see myself slipping into chapel or the back of the church to the furthest pew and never attempting to find human fellowship there, (which to be honest is how it was most of the time).  So I am offering you my deepest gratitude and respect, on behalf of myself and all the other "last row in the back" people, for proving there are some authentically Christ-like priests still out there. 

'Destiny' by John William Waterhouse, a Pre-Raphaelite